dimanche, d├ęcembre 12, 2004

Sensitive little love note. Yes I have a sweet side.

Can you wear (deleted) I got it bad. It is like I can smell you, I close my eyes and feel you. I want to....hmmmmm....mmmmmm......feel you press against me. I like the weight of you pushing up next to me. Spooning. Relaxing. Feeling. Knowing.


I am going to sleep and I am going to think about you laying on top of me, pressing into me, and making me feel complete. Well, it should drive you nuts that the emotion is real. It drives me nuts right now. Makes me feel bittersweet about leaving. Okay enough of that. (deep breaths) Why do I feel like I have a stone in my throat and like my forearms feel like dead weights dripped in orange acid when I type this. You are the only reason why I have been checking my e-mail as of late, and why I smile to myself when I stop at red lights in my car.

Yeah, but you aren't perfect. Don't worry. No obession. You spent way too much time at DATY, you could slam me a little harder with my legs over my head in Mish, you could grab my hair and kiss me, and hold me really tight. You could look at me deep in my eyes and do nothing, while you pin me down with your hands on mine, then don't kiss me, but breathe very slowly all over me.

Everyone leaves. That is the beauty. It is fun and then, it is over. Right? I know. It is easy when we forget and hard when we remember. May I never remember, may I never forget. I wrote that last sentence on my wall after my building burned down. It makes the most sense. It is sometimes after all that I have been through...all that I know by heart.

It is easier being alone. I like the fact that people can't hurt me. But that is so easy and safe. I prefer the (deleted) edge. Show me you blade and I will show you worlds you have never dreamed of. Then *poof* I will be gone. Like a comet I will come around again. I wish I had a center. A gravitational pull. Till then, I am in orbit. Floating.


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